we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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