I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i think i just lost a toe
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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