Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize