He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
