and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
