Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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