i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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