I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
