i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
