Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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