Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
