I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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