I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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