dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i dont even know how to be here
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
