new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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