Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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