You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
