Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i think i just lost a toe
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
