Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize