I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
