You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
