I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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