You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
