You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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