What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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