Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The air was thick with penises
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
