Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
