i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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