hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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