My friends, they love my intelligence
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
