I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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