Do you still have your period?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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