I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
