My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
