so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
