so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
