one two three fourrrrnication!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
