dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize