but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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