I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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