You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
