every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
