Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize