you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
