sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
