During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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