he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
