It's Friday. Sex?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
