Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Your penis caused this!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
