No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
