I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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