You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
