God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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