Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
