Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet

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(631): View more from New York

I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.

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(513): View more from Ohio

New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round

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(438): View more from Quebec

I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis

(1-438): View more from Quebec

He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.

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(419): View more from Ohio

So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!

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