Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
