Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
