I need help removing her.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
