oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
