Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
