GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
